As I mentioned Adam is now working out of town – meaning he actually lives somewhere else for longer than he lives at our house now. He works out of town for two weeks, 14 days of work without a break, and then gets to come home for one week off. He only began this new job in February (right after Valentine’s Day) and we’re slowly getting used to the routine.
At first it was exciting – after living together for 4 years it was definitely a change to get used to and exciting when we get to see each other again after two weeks apart. And now the reality of “this is going to be our life” for the next year to two years (possibly) is settling in.
We’ve always had a great relationship, of course an argument (ahem) here and there (where i’m always right of course ;) ) but nothing major obviously – but when you are used to being with someone all the time, day in and day out for such a long period of time, being away from that person for any length of time is strange to think about. We were pretty certain we could do it (no turning back now!) since we both trust each other, are settled into our lives together (we’re engaged!) and had already lived together for four years we thought we would definitely be able to make it through a couple weeks apart.
Well – that’s all easier said than done even with the most confident of couples. You see, the thing about ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ is incredibly painfully true – unfortunately.
This makes the time spent together even more special, which in tuurrrnnn makes saying goodbye after a week together for two more weeks apart more difficult with each turnaround (our new terminology for our living situation). Because the more time we spend apart makes us appreciate the time together all the more, which makes saying goodbye each time more and more difficult as time goes on – or so I’m hypothesizing. We’re also planning a wedding while Adam is out of town – which is a whole other hurdle in itself.
There are times like this weekend (Easter weekend) that I’m happy the long weekend is filled with activities like birthday parties and family dinners to keep you occupied. Other times the nights drag on, weekends are boring (sometimes) and you find yourself having a glass of wine and charcuterie for one while watching Gravity with your dog on the couch on a saturday night.
At the honeymoon stage of our new situation – the first turnaround – things like this Buzz Feed article about 26 things the happen when your significant other is out of town were hilarious – and awkwardly true. We joked about how they actually happen, and now with a few months under our belt of our new long-distance relationship I thought I’d make up my own list of things that happen when your fiancé (or gf/bf) is out of town.
If you’re in a long distance relationship, or dating someone in the military (much longer time apart than 2 weeks no doubt) or significant other is always out of town you might relate to some of these – feel free to add some more in the comments!
1. You can’t watch the next episode of your favourite show because its tradition to watch it together
true. Mad Men, New Girl and Brooklyn Nine Nine cannot wait for two weeks before watching said episodes. Sorry Adam.
2. At first, you get unreasonably excited about all the extra space in your bed. Then you end up investing money in a pillow for cuddling
Fact: Adam bought me a body pillow to cuddle while he’s away, but it ended up freaking me out more than anything. Maybe because he put a t-shirt over it and I kept forgetting it was there then startled myself whenever i walked in the bedroom.
pro - bed to yourself. con - you have to go to bed alone every night, except for when theres a little dog to cuddle.
3. If your significant other is far enough away you get really good at doing time difference math.
well not really, it’s only an hour difference but changes to 2 hours in the fall – but it does make it annoying for breaks/phone calls. Plus Adam’s working a night shift so he’s sleeping when I’m awake and I’m sleeping when he’s awake. Another bummer.
4. When you have a bad day, you have no idea what to do with yourself
yup. venting to the dog is not nearly as satisfying as screaming/yelling to a real human who can talk back and carry on a conversation. With Adams work schedule I also can’t talk to him until his break, which is at 7:30 pm and 10:00 pm – making it difficult to call them when you’re frustrated about something during the time I can’t actually talk to him. Annoying.
5. You have leftover food because you’re used to making enough for two people
now this is true. I made too much food for two people as it was, but now cooking for 1 is almost pointless. Sometimes I can’t be bothered and end up eating oatmeal, cereal or scrambled eggs on rotation.
Not all meals can look like this one – more like leftovers/bowl of cereal.
6. You and your S.O are texting a lot more than you usually do, but literally about nothing.
so true – case in point:
including sending each other random selfies
also note the facial hair + hair growth in general. Adam’s decided he won’t be cutting his hair / shaving his beard while working.. yay me. (to be honest I actually like it :S )
7. You realize all the teeny tiny everyday things you’re dependent on your S.O. for and appreciate them tenfold.
things i miss: someone to do dishes after I cook, taking out the garbage (I’ve missed a couple pick-ups…), unloading the dishwasher and taking the dog out a 10 pm. Oh – and turning off the light once we’re in bed – the light switch is on his side of the bed and I just can’t sleep on his side even if he’s not here - doesn’t feel comfortable.
8. You finally learn how to turn on the BBQ
I can now grill my own chicken/steak without being afraid that it will blow up (anyone else have this fear?)
9. You make a pledge to work out a lot more, and read more
true on both accounts – so far…
Are you in a long distance relationship?? are you the one out of town or the other? What things do you do ???